Are You Afraid of Success?
Posted on June 2, 2008
Filed Under Motivational |
Are you afraid of succeeding? Sounds ridiculous, right? But, your fear may be in your way… and you aren’t even aware!
Quick . . . Give me an answer! Are you?
Most people say, “NO? absolutely not. I’m doing everything I can? making all the right moves to get what I want.?
Ok then, the real question is? Do you feel successful?
You know what a lot of people say when I ask them that question? “Well? what do you mean by successful??
We all crave it . . . we all strive to achieve it . . . but WHAT IS IT?!
The definition of successful: resulting or terminating in favorable or desired outcome
Right.
Now, you have to determine what that means to you. What does it take to make you FEEL successful and are you really reaching out in the right direction?
So, let’s get real about what YOU mean by successful. Do you really want it? Steven Berglas, a Harvard psychiatry professor, wrote a book
Are you sure about what the outcome will be if you get what you’re aiming for? Often times we have an idea of what success would be for us? what would make us feel successful. We see or hear from others what appears to be success. But, they’re just ideas and not rooted in reality. After all, what’s good and successful for someone else, may not be good for you. And may in fact, be toxic in your life.
A friend of mine is a highly educated lawyer. He’s also a very skilled painter. He came to me because he was feeling depressed, stagnant and “unsuccessful?. He felt that no matter “how hard he tried? he could not achieve the success he wanted as both a lawyer and an artist. After a lot of talking and dissecting the realities of his situation, we came to some big realizations.- He was not feeling “successful? at the law firm because he had not yet been made partner. But, in reality there were several things he had not done that were necessary steps to make sure he would become partner. Why?- Because if he was made partner, he would not have the time to put into his artwork. Ah? so, maybe he didn’t really want to be partner?- But, he didn’t feel like a successful artist either. Why?- Because he had not had his own show…. Ok? hang with me here?.- Why hadn’t he had his own show? I knew he had enough great work to put together a show. His answer?- “Oh no? my work is no where near good enough. I haven’t had enough time to put into it to be good enough?.
So, in reality, he had set up his own limiting beliefs about himself and his achievements.
When he finally declared that it was OK that he didn’t want to be a partner in that law firm? that he didn’t want to put more time into the company in exchange for money; it freed him to feel successful at his present level in the firm.
Now, we needed to work on reevaluating what success as an artist means to him. Did he really want a show? Or was it enough that he just painted for himself? By writing a , when you reach the “top?.
About the author
Tags: consequences, desired outcome, fear, harvard, hitting bottom, lawyer, psychiatry professor, realities, realizations, right direction, skilled painter, steven berglas
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